


Portrait

by Elsey8



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Accomplice au, Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Childhood Trauma, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, POV Alternating, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, kind of, murder boyfriends
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:01:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28938168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elsey8/pseuds/Elsey8
Summary: Akechi Goro as explored from an angle where he isn't isolated his whole life. He has someone to stand with him during the good times and the bad times, to walk with him through hardships.And Goro simply bumps into him on the street.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kitagawa Yusuke
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	1. Prologue: Canvas

Goro bumps into him on the street. 

The boy looks a little younger than him, all starry eyed and bright and happy. Goro doesn’t weigh much, he’s always been told he’s small for his age, so he’s surprised when he actually knocks the boy over. 

He hits the ground pretty hard, and looks up at Goro with these big blue eyes. 

“Sorry,” he murmurs. 

Normally he’d just keep walking, but the boy is bigger than him and Goro thinks if he tried to run he wouldn’t get very far. He doesn’t really want to start a fight right now. 

But then the boy is sitting there, and he’s bleeding a lot. And he starts crying. 

“Oh...are you okay?” 

He’s probably not okay, but that’s what Goro thinks you’re supposed to ask when people cry. Sometimes his mom asks him that, when she doesn’t just beg him to stop. 

When the boy doesn’t respond, Goro shifts on his feet and considers running away. It would be the much easier thing to do. 

But he helps him up instead, and he does the only thing he can think to do...bring him to his mom. He knows they have things to make the bleeding stop, and the boy won’t talk to him. 

He can think up some explanation. 

“Mama!” he calls inside. “I have...a friend!”

The boy is still crying his eyes out, and he’s still bleeding a lot even though Goro couldn’t have run into him that hard. He doesn’t think he’s capable of causing  _ that _ much damage to someone who’s bigger than him.

His mom comes around the corner quickly, blinking as she looks at him and then the boy. Her confusion melts into concern within a moment. 

“Hello dear,” she greets quietly. “Let’s get that fixed up, okay? Come with me.”

His mom, in true superhero fashion, takes the boy into the bathroom to bandage him up. He stops crying almost immediately when she talks to him gently and presses a bandaid over each of the scrapes on his knees. 

“Goro, who’s your friend?” she asks.

It’s an interrogation. She knows his friends are few and far between, and they never last long. More often than not the “friend” excuse is a lie. 

He hides a little more around the doorway, and looks down. He didn’t mean to lie this time, it just...came out. He wanted his mom to help the boy he hurt without needing to explain what happened. He didn’t want to get in trouble, so he thought this would be the easiest way to get help. 

“I’m Kitagawa Yusuke,” the boy answers for him. 

“He’s Yusuke. You know, Yusuke,” Goro says sheepishly.

Exactly, Yusuke. 

Yusuke is the type to cover for him, and right now that’s all Goro needs to know about him to decide he likes him.

“Well, Yusuke, are you staying for dinner?” 

“I shouldn’t...Sensei will want me home. If he’s there, I don’t know.”

“No worries. You don’t have to,” she assures him. 

“Do you want to come over tomorrow?” Goro blurts. 

He isn’t sure if he’s trying to convince his mom this is really his friend, or if he just wants to make a friend. The opportunities he gets to make them aren’t very common, and maybe this is a good chance for him. 

Once he gets over how tall Yusuke is, he actually doesn’t seem too intimidating. Thinking now, Goro could take him in a fight if he had to. 

“Okay,” Yusuke says. 

And that’s that. 

Yusuke can be a weird kid a lot of the time. It’s probably why they get along, but it still makes Goro look at him weird when he asks what was on the bandaid Goro’s mom gave him. Apparently, Yusuke has never even seen a  _ single  _ episode of Phoenix Ranger Featherman. That’s just ridiculous. 

Madarame, Yusuke’s “Sensei” who is definitely a fraud, is never home on Saturdays. So every Saturday, Yusuke spends the whole day with Goro, and when they manage to make big enough puppy dog eyes at Goro’s mom, they have sleepovers. 

They go out in the mornings sometimes, but usually they sit in the living room and watch TV while Goro’s mom makes them breakfast. She doesn’t usually cook so much, but she always does when Yusuke is over. 

She still makes them go to the bathhouse when it gets late though. But it’s much more fun with Yusuke there, and they stay longer than they probably even need to most nights. 

Goro’s mom likes Yusuke a lot. She smiles when he compliments her cooking, and whenever he makes those scribbles that are better than Goro’s she compliments him. His art is up on the fridge next to Goro’s, like he’s part of the family. 

Goro expected it to make him jealous, but he can’t make himself be. He can’t help it all the time, thinking that Yusuke is taking her attention away from him. Every once in a while that still makes him so angry he can barely breathe.

But he endures it. He can’t be mad at Yusuke for it. Not knowing that Yusuke’s sad excuse of a mentor is raising him and probably gives him even less than Goro gets. 

Goro doesn’t mind sharing his small space in his mom’s life if it makes Yusuke smile a little more. Goro likes his smile, even though he’s missing some teeth and he pokes his tongue through the gaps more often than not. It should be ugly, Goro would think it was ugly on anyone else. It’s pretty on Yusuke. 

Yusuke is a good playmate too, he’s pretty willing to go along with anything Goro does. He always lets Goro be the superhero, the leader, the hider, and whatever else Goro wants to be. Yusuke’s favorite sentence seems to be, “Whatever you want.”

Although Goro is sure he could take Yusuke in a fight he also thinks Yusuke could and would beat up weaker people  _ for _ Goro. He seems like that kind of person. Maybe not in general, but almost definitely when it comes to Goro. 

Goro thinks he might be...special, to Yusuke. He doesn’t want to embarrass himself and call them best friends if they aren’t, but he thinks they are. 

Yusuke is a surprisingly angry person once you get down to it, although that side of him only comes out in extreme circumstances. Goro has only seen it when he told Yusuke about his father. Yusuke’s eyes are usually a rather cool and dull blue, but as he’d heard about the way Goro’s mom was used and abandoned...they’d gotten so much colder. When things are so cold they’re hot, Yusuke’s eyes had been  _ burning _ . 

And like a switch, he’d calmed and offered sympathies for it instead. It was the first time Goro saw his own anger mirrored in another person. 

It’s why Goro feels like their bond is special. He can understand Yusuke, and he thinks Yusuke understands him.

It’s a Tuesday night. Goro’s hair is dripping steadily wet onto his shoulders and down his back, cold because it’s the middle of winter and he just walked back from the bathhouse. He listens for noise before he walks back inside, but it’s quiet and the man’s shoes are gone. 

“Mama?” Goro calls inside. “Mom?”

He doesn’t hear a response, but he doesn’t really expect to. Usually she falls asleep right after, or she doesn’t feel like talking anyway. 

He scuffs his feet outside her bedroom door, wondering if she’d allow him inside. She doesn’t usually like him to go in her room after she has the men over, but the people at the bathhouse were weird and Goro doesn’t want to go back to his room. He just wants to see her. 

He knocks first, then opens the door. It’s not locked, and that registers to him as a little weird. But it doesn’t  _ never  _ happen. 

“Mom?” he calls again. 

The room is empty anyway. That’s why the door was unlocked, she’s not even in here. The lights are still on, and it smells bad. Goro backs out and shuts the door behind him. 

She must be in the bathroom, but he didn’t hear the water running. And she didn’t answer him. Both of those are way out of routine for her. 

“Mom?” 

He knocks on the door. Nothing still. 

Their bathroom door does have a lock, but it doesn’t work anymore. Not since…

Goro opens the door slowly, ready to beg for forgiveness later rather than ask for her again. And then he sees red. 

Their bathroom is a white that normally hurts Goro’s eyes, and the lights are way too bright and they make this awful buzzing noise. They’re flickering now, that buzzing the only sound Goro can hear alongside the rushing in his own ears. 

There’s red  _ everywhere _ . 

Goro calls the police, he manages to do his best to step around the blood when he grabs his mom’s old phone from the top of the toilet and dial 110. He tells them about the blood, and he answers all of the questions they ask him as he sits on the floor in the bathroom and tries not to get any blood on him. The questions are easy, like what his name is and how old he is. He tells them his name is Goro and he’s eight and he didn’t hit his head or anything, he’s  _ fine _ . 

Mostly he stares. He waits for his mom to stir, to get up and tell him she’s fine and she’ll clean up the mess and it’s alright. It’s fine, she’s going to get up any second now. He waits for her to get up. 

When the police arrive, they pull him away and take his mom somewhere away from him. 

They ask if he has anywhere to go and he nods even though he doesn’t. He doesn’t want them to make him stay and talk to them more. They must think he’s stupid, with all the easy questions they’re asking him. 

They keep him at the station for a while anyway, they wrap him in this bright blanket that doesn’t do anything and ask him about what he saw even though he can barely remember anymore. When he tries to think about it all his memory serves to show him is red. 

He lies more than he tells them the truth. He fills in the gaps with vague things they can’t disprove. 

His mom told him never to trust cops. 

He has them bring him to Madarame, and it’s worth it just for the look on his face when he opens the door and sees him with the police. 

Goro walks directly inside, past him, to look for Yusuke. 

Miraculously, Madarame lets him stay for a while. Probably because of the police talking to him. 

Goro sleeps crammed on Yusuke’s futon with him, and eats and speaks less than a mouse. Madarame barely sees him, he tries his hardest to be not even as much of a nuisance as a ghost so maybe Madarame will forget he’s there. Maybe he can stay. 

He can’t actually. Once his mom passes away, he has to go. 

The last night before Goro is taken into foster care, he can’t sleep. 

“It’s not fair,” he whispers to Yusuke. 

“I know.”

“I hate her.”

“You don’t.”

Goro’s lip wobbles. He won’t cry, he can’t cry. He can’t be weak anymore. He can’t afford it. 

Yusuke is holding his hand. He won’t have anyone to hold his hand once he’s in foster care. He doesn’t think it’ll be as kind to him as his social worker tells him it will. 

She thinks he’ll love it, being around other kids and having more than a mom who’s barely around to look after him. 

It wasn’t always the best at home, but he thinks this will be downright  _ bad _ .

“I do. She didn’t want me,” he insists. “She left me all alone and now I have to go away.”

“She wanted you.”

“No she didn’t. At least your mother didn’t  _ choose _ to leave you, you wouldn’t understand.” 

It’s mean, it’s harsh. It’s not something Goro actually means, but he doesn’t want to miss Yusuke. He can’t have something to come back to, or he doesn’t know if he can do this. 

He tries to push Yusuke away and all he gets is being pulled closer.

“You don’t mean that,” Yusuke says. 

“At least Madarame wants you. He wants to use you, but at least he wants you.”

Yusuke closes his eyes, and he doesn’t say anything to that. 

Goro wonders if Yusuke’s cold fire is being directed at him. If he’s closing his eyes to hide that. 

Either way, he still stays up and let's Goro cry himself to sleep in his arms. 

Goro misses him despite his best efforts. 

Goro’s first foster family isn’t the worst. They aren’t good, but he’ll live. 

The parents are fine. They’re tired, but they do what they can. It’s the other kids that are bad, and they’re all much bigger and older than Goro. The parents don’t feel like scolding the older kids so they just get rid of Goro instead.

The second family is worse. Much worse. The foster dad is someone who always smells like alcohol and leaves early and gets back halfway into dinner. The foster mom is someone who is always home and always tired, always doing housework and never taking care of the kids. Goro gets stuck taking care of the two year old girl in the house because the previously weak link can beat him in a fight. That’s how the hierarchy works, and he’s known that since he was smaller than he is now. 

Goro is angry. He’s tired. 

He lies every day now, to the foster parents about being grateful to be there and loving taking care of the baby. To his social worker about being safe and happy and all of that stuff she needs to hear. He’s with them for a year, and every single day he feels like he loses himself a little more in the lies. 

He misses Yusuke. 

It takes that whole year, but Goro tells his social worker how badly he wants it and Madarame does the paperwork begrudgingly and Yusuke raises hell from what he hears after the fact. 

Yusuke tells him he threatened to run away. To do something...bad. Something that could make him not as useful. Break his fingers or hurt his eyes so he can’t be used as a tool anymore. 

So Madarame adopts him.

Yusuke has this pleased grin on his face all the way back to the shack. He holds Goro’s hand the whole time. 

It takes Goro a week to figure it out after that. Madarame goes out every Saturday, and he comes back looking far too pleased with himself Sunday mornings. Goro can’t find the name of the mistress, he’s too careful for that. But he knows there is one, and he knows Madarame has a second house with her. A nicer one, one with plenty of food and room and luxuries he doesn’t afford for them. 

He cracks it because of the cat hair he tracks back to the shack. An expensive breed. Then the credit card bills he reads carefully through the envelopes with a flashlight. Then the quiet and hushed conversations he has with the other students.

It takes much longer to find out how deep things go. Too many pupils commit suicide, and finally Goro breaks into the room that’s always locked and he wants to throw up. 

They’re being so manipulated it makes him sick. And Yusuke… 

He sees what Madarame does to them, and he knows that’s exactly what Yusuke is being groomed for and can’t do anything but tell him. 

“I know,” Yusuke says, a paintbrush loosely held in his hand. 

He’d told Goro this piece in specific was about his mother. About the unique anguish of losing everything.

Yusuke is twelve and Goro is thirteen, and they’re both Madarame’s little tools. Yusuke is his little art prodigy, and Goro is like a pet project. He’s smart though, he’s smart and he grew up beautiful and the public likes how he looks standing next to Madarame. 

“You know? About the Sayuri too?”

“Of course I know. Believe me, I don’t like it. But where else do we have to go?”

“We can run away,” Goro offers. 

“We’d end up back here. Or dead.”

Goro knows that. He’s smart enough and mature enough at this point to know running away is a childish daydream. He may not like what Madarame does to them, but at least they’re alive. At least they’re together. At least they’re the only kids at this point, at least they’re equals. 

But he wants it  _ so bad _ . He wants to get him and Yusuke away from this all, to have their own stupid shack that would be better just for being theirs. He doesn’t need more, he would settle for the same or less if it were just them. 

He misses Yusuke’s smile. 

“So what do we do?” Goro asks quietly. 

“Nothing for now. What can we even do?”

“Oh I’ll find something,” Goro spits. “I swear there’s more we can do than nothing.”

Goro cracks it. He splits his past wide open with a healthy amount of lying and crocodile tears to claw his way to the truth. He gets sharper over time, smarter and more perceptive and much better at manipulation and lying to people. It’s a skill he thinks will keep him alive. 

It’s a skill that earns him a name.

Shido Masayoshi. 

But he’s already high standing in society, he’s already powerful by the time Goro gets to him. Goro is so furious he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He wants to break something, he wants to break his father, but he can’t. He can’t do anything right now, and that realization makes him want to break  _ himself _ even if it’s just because he’s the only thing in reach. 

He’s nearly inconsolable, but Yusuke tries. Yusuke tries as much as he can, and on good days he can make tension drop out of Goro and get him to sleep more than an hour. On bad days, Goro screams back at him and gets them both in trouble. He feels guilty on the bad days. At the end of it Goro can only repeat his promise to himself. 

_ There’s more to do than nothing.  _

He can do more than nothing. Goro is smart and he’s pretty and he can lie better than anything. He can do something. 

It’s still another year, just before Goro turns sixteen, that he finally finds more than nothing. 


	2. Acrylic

The shack is cold. Heating and cooling is not afforded for Yusuke and Goro, and it’s still barely within the cold months for them. Unluckily enough, it’s very cold on this particular night. So, the shack is cold, and even though Yusuke knows why he’s still asking himself  _ why.  _

Yusuke’s birthday just passed, fourteen coming and passing with not much more than Goro murmuring happy birthday to him in the morning. Madarame didn’t give much indication to whether or not he even realized the date, but Yusuke doesn’t really care about that. 

Goro’s birthday is still far away, in the months they’ll be hot and sticky and drink far too much water in attempts to cool their bodies down. Yusuke knows he’ll be missing being cold when that time of the year rolls around. 

Yusuke and Goro have separate beds, but most nights they end up together anyway. Even when it’s so hot it feels like they’re on fire, there’s still something made more manageable when they’re close. Now, Goro is curled up in a ball pressed to every inch of Yusuke and still shivering. Neither of them have much body warmth to begin with, Yusuke has always run cold, and Goro has never eaten enough. Goro would give his portions to Yusuke until he fainted if Yusuke didn’t stop him. For a long time, Yusuke didn’t know how to stop him. 

Even now, Goro is significantly thinner than him. 

They’re holding hands between them, pressed between their chests in hopes that it will warm their numb fingers. It helps, just a little. Yusuke isn’t sure if it’s because it genuinely is working, or if being around Goro is soothing him deep in his chest. It could be both, he isn’t really sure. 

“I hate him,” Goro says. 

It’s not the first time he’s said it, and it won’t be the last. Yusuke has had so many versions of this same conversation with Goro. 

“I know.” 

“I hate this shack.”

“You don’t.”

Goro tucks his head under Yusuke’s chin and trembles. Yusuke isn’t sure if he’s cold or angry, or maybe a combination of both. 

He doesn’t like when Yusuke calls him out for things he doesn’t really mean. This shack is their home, for better or for worse. He knows Goro doesn’t hate it, can’t hate it. Even if he wants to. 

“I hate Madarame, and I hate that it’s  _ his  _ shack,” Goro amends. 

“It would be rather nice if it were ours, no?” 

Goro sighs, bringing their hands to his mouth to huff hot air over them. It helps somewhat. 

He’s being quiet because Yusuke is right, he’s putting off a response because he doesn’t know what to say. Goro is so easy to read after all this time, and Yusuke knows exactly what to give back. 

“Come on,” Yusuke prods. “You can imagine it, can’t you? We’d paint all over the walls, we could hang up whatever we wanted and turn the heat all the way up if we felt like it. Watch Phoenix Ranger Featherman and eat dinner in the living room. together” 

Goro’s lips brush their joined knuckles. Yusuke’s first, before sliding back to his own. Yusuke can’t see his face at all now. 

He’s hiding. 

Yusuke lets him, for now. 

“No plagiarism, I could show the world my art and call it my own. You could be yourself. What else would we need? It sounds perfect to me.” 

“This is a childish daydream,” Goro whispers. 

“I know. Won’t you humor me?” 

“I’d want a bigger bed. Plenty of blankets, just one for the both of us will do. We would be in Madarame’s room, since he’s got his own bathroom. We could take baths with hot water and refill it as much as we want. Buy new clothes. Drink tea whenever we want…”

Goro’s tremors increase, and he’s settling closer like he’s ready to sleep. 

“Goro?” Yusuke prompts.

“I wouldn’t mind if he used me. I’ve been used before, and I knew what I was getting myself into the moment I came here,” Goro murmurs. 

“I’m sorry.”

“It would’ve been fine. If he was just...better. If he tried even a little. I didn’t want a lot to begin with, and he still let me down. He still wronged us, when I would’ve taken so much just to be with you. His wrongs weren’t difficult to find, but it’s useless. They know, everyone knows and they just don’t care. They let him do whatever he wants. They let him display us like exhibits in a museum and--”

Yusuke’s world flips around. It feels like he’s going to be sick, and the most he can do is hold onto Goro and blink his eyes back open when it’s over. It’s an instant, a confusing one at that, but it’s still just a short moment before the feeling fades. 

They uncurl from around each other, and when Yusuke tries to stand, Goro yanks him back down. 

“Don’t,” he hisses. 

“Why?” 

“We don’t know what just happened, where the hell we are, or...we don’t know anything! Stay put.”

But then Goro stands up. 

“Where are you going then?” he asks. 

“I’m older, I’m going to take a look around. I’ll be right back.”

“If you’re going, I’m going,” he insists. 

He’s already standing before Goro can argue, taking his hand firmly and refusing to let go. Goro isn’t strong enough to pull away, and it’s clear he’s not content in staying and waiting for something to happen. Yusuke watches him fight with himself, looking back at him and then ahead. 

“Fine,” he sighs. 

So they move together. Goro walks in front, pulling Yusuke just slightly behind him. 

There’s a line leading into the large building that looks a bit like a museum. Yusuke has been to a few in his life, being paraded around and shown what art is to drill it relentlessly into his brain. Madarame wanted him to be a prodigy, and he was raised as one from the moment Madarame got a good grip on him. 

Goro pulls them right along and past, the guards at the front parting for them easily. 

“None of them have faces,” Yusuke comments. 

“I know. Keep your head down.”

Yusuke averts his eyes, keeping them trained on the ground as Goro leads him inside. 

The same faceless guards patrol on the inside, each of them identical as they shamble about. None of them pay any mind to Goro or Yusuke as they move through the inside of what must be a museum. Yusuke is sure now, with the structure and the exhibits and the portraits hanging all around, as realistic as if they’re just frozen people on display. 

“How did we get here?” Yusuke whispers. 

Goro yanks at his hand to bring him around a corner to sit down. Yusuke sits and looks up at Goro, standing in front of him with his hands on his hips. 

“Hell if I know, but you--”

Yusuke’s face must betray his confusion, because Goro cuts himself off. 

Yusuke flicks his eyes from Goro to the painting next to him. The painting  _ of  _ Goro, hanging right next to him. Yusuke is trying to spot the differences between them, and hasn’t been able to find any yet. 

“What?” 

He peers around, to the painting that resembles him as well behind Goro. Is that what he looks like? 

Yusuke traces his face shape, trying to see if he can feel for any of those differences, if his eyes really do look that haunted and if his cheeks are truly that sunken in. 

Goro turns around, and Yusuke watches his eyes barely widen. He turns away entirely then, his back to Yusuke so his face isn’t visible. 

“It’s us,” Yusuke says. 

“It is,” Goro replies, voice tight and quiet. 

“It’s like what we said, no?” 

“Mm. This is...strange. I’ll have to look into this when we figure out how to get back. Whatever this place is, it responded to what we said. I wonder if Madarame is here.” 

Yusuke clenches his fists in his lap. 

He decides he doesn’t like this museum, whatever it is and why it’s here. 

“I hope not,” he murmurs. 

“Me too. We shouldn’t stay in one place for too long. Let’s get moving again.” 

Yusuke stands and slips his hand into Goro’s, squeezing it as tightly as he can. It’s not very tight at all, he starts shaking far before he can exert enough pressure to hurt. Goro mirrors the motion, and they move forward together again. 

Yusuke watches their hands, the way Goro’s flexes every once in a while in a light squeeze, as if to make sure he’s still following. Yusuke will squeeze back and do his best to keep up when he’s still trying to keep his head down too. 

Goro doesn’t talk much, outside of occasionally warning him if they’re making a sharp turn. 

They only run into trouble in this big open room. Goro looks into it first, shifting back and forth on his heels as if getting ready to pull them back the other way. He stands there, hesitating at the doorway. It’s clear he doesn’t want to go in, but he walks in after a few moments of stalling. 

That’s when Madarame appears, although Yusuke doesn’t see him for more than a moment before Goro walks in front of him. 

“Go,” Goro tries to tell him. “Don’t let him get a good look at you, just go back. I’ll catch up.” 

It’s useless. Yusuke couldn’t run if he wanted to, not with the exhaustion beginning to weigh on his body. Not with the fear that keeps him paralyzed. He can’t really move, and he knows running and separating them when he can’t get far in the first place isn’t worth it. 

He’s always wondered what it would take to get Madarame to decide he’s more trouble than he’s worth and kill him. Maybe this is it. 

“I heard you two were running around here, but I hardly believed it. This is no place for you, and you should know that.” 

Madarame’s voice is different, although Yusuke can still hear his signature tone underneath it. The one he hears when he does something wrong.    
“Cover your ears,” Goro commands. 

Yusuke ducks his head down and presses his palms over his ears. The sounds immediately muffle, and the rushing of his own blood is louder than it anyway. He’s long since learned that not listening, not watching and being as respectful as possible to Madarame spells nothing good. Here, he’s convinced he’ll be alright. 

If Goro is here...then he’ll be fine. They can make it out of this if they’re together, because Yusuke knows they can do anything. He trusts them to protect one another wherever they can. 

“You don’t touch him!” Goro screams, so loud Yusuke can hear it. 

Yusuke lifts his head, pulls his hands from his ears just to watch and listen to Goro. His back is tall, but Yusuke can see the agony in him. His shoulders are too tense, and he’s digging his nails so hard into his palms that there’s blood dripping over his hands onto the ground. 

“I own you two,” Madarame says calmly. “I do whatever I please. If you’ve thrown away your uses, then I have every right to get rid of you.”

“That’s not  _ right _ . I’m sick of all of your petty injustices, of the thing you’ve created and try to pass off as home and family. You ruin things. Your greed sickens me you fucking bastard!”

“ _ Is justice what you seek? _ ” 

Goro doubles over suddenly, clutching at his head. The blood from his palms stains his hair dark, and streaks down his face in a way Yusuke can hardly even see from the angle he’s at. He aches. 

“Goro?” he murmurs. 

“Yes,” Goro says. 

Yusuke isn’t sure which question he’s responding to, but either way he straightens up and walks closer to Madarame. He’s far in front of Yusuke now, his back standing straight and tall. 

Yusuke looks up at him, and he knows things will be okay. They have to be. 

“ _ You wish to steal from this man? To right the wrongs he created out of greed and envy?” _

“I want to ruin him,” Goro spits. 

“ _ As long as you hold that truth in you, my power is yours, young Justice. I believe a contract is in order. I am thou, thou art I.”  _

Blue flames lick up Goro’s form, and Yusuke hardly has a moment to start moving towards him before he’s consumed within them. 

“ _ You’ve always had the power. You know your truth. Shed your mask and take it!”  _

“To me, Robin Hood!” 

Goro comes out on the other side with a bow clutched in his hand. He draws it far back, an arrow made of spectral light brushing the side of his cheek before he lets it fly. One of the guards jumps in the way before it pierces straight through Madarame, who quickly turns tail to run. 

Goro turns to him, and Yusuke’s breath catches. 

He is dressed in something princely, almost like a superhero with the mask fitted over his face and the half cape sitting over his shoulders. He stretches his hand out to help Yusuke up, and then stares at it. He looks down at himself with a curious expression. 

“I will figure this out later,” he mutters. “Come on, Yusuke. We should leave.”

Yusuke reaches for his hand, and then barely is able to move fast enough to even slightly cushion Goro’s fall. As he sets him down, he sees his eyes have closed. 

His pulse is slow, although it takes Yusuke a good while to even find it because of how hard he’s shaking. It’s fine, Goro just fainted. He’s fainted before, and he complains about his head after but he’s usually fine. It’s fine. 

“Lord Madarame has ordered their immediate capture.” 

Yusuke’s head swings up and to the side, watching a few of the faceless guards approaching them. He’s in no state to try and carry Goro out, and he doesn’t know if he could even outrun these things himself on a good day. 

All he can do is position himself in front of Goro and shield him with his body. 

It’s fine, it has to be fine. He can handle this much, can’t he? Goro got Madarame to run away, all Yusuke has to do is make that worth it. 

“Do we need them alive?” 

“I believe he said both of them need to be alive. He doesn’t mind if we need to rough them up a little, though. They certainly deserve it after all that trouble.” 

Yusuke backs up more, reaching back to shake Goro in an attempt to wake him. It’s not going to work and he knows it, but he hopes so desperately. He hopes that Goro can do the rest for him, which feels too selfish. 

He can’t even do this much. 

“Don’t come any closer,” he warns the guards. 

He’s no threat to them, and he thinks they realize that. They don’t even pause. 

He knows he’s useless. To Goro, he hasn’t been able to do a single thing. He couldn’t even keep him warm, he couldn’t even run when he was told. Goro’s power doesn’t mean anything if Yusuke keeps wasting it like this.

“ _ Are you giving up, then? Will you just watch?”  _

Much like the voice that came when Goro called on that power, the voice is loud and booming. But unlike with Goro, this comes from...in him. It’s not his voice, but he can hear it all around him, from inside him. It makes his head split in half. 

“I...I can’t do it. I don’t have the power.”

“ _ Is that you, Kitagawa Yusuke?” _

“It’s not who I want to be, but I don’t have a choice!” 

“ _ Carve the choice into your heart. You have never been given the upper hand, the freedom, the space with which to control yourself. Spit on the notion that you have to stay that way. Reject it.” _

Yusuke digs his nails into the ground, watching the way it splinters under his bloody fingers. He stumbles back up, stepping forward to protect Goro by virtue of being behind him. He hopes he is as sturdy as he feels now. 

“I don’t want to be this anymore.”

“ _ Part with your old self. It is but an imitation. Let us now forge a contract. I am thou, thou art I. The world is filled with beauty and vice, it is time you teach people which is which.” _

Yusuke fits his throbbing fingers under the mask over his face. He tugs, tugs, and then rips it off. 

“Come, Goemon!” he calls. 

The pain and freedom that follows it is all consuming, and he shakes through the feelings until they leave him. 

“I will no longer stand by. I will no longer accept my life as it is. I won’t let my true self be silenced any longer!” 

The power sings in him, and it’s just second nature the way the ice overtakes the two guards when he stretches his hand out. It isn’t something he has to think about. 

“Yusuke?”

Yusuke helps Goro up, trying to be careful and go as slow as he can even though they need to  _ run _ . Quickly enough, Goro shrugs off the help and breaks into a sprint. Yusuke follows after him, and staves off the feelings of exhaustion until they’re back outside the museum. 

Goro takes out his phone, leaning heavily against Yusuke’s side as he stares at the screen. 

Goro has a phone, because he’s their face. He manages an online personality, a presence that’s rapidly growing. He needs to be present socially, physically as well as online, so Madarame gave him one of his old phones to use. It’s nice even for a hand me down. 

Yusuke doesn’t have one, though. 

“Metanav,” he mutters. “That doesn’t explain much, but okay. We can go back like this I think.”

And after Yusuke gets that dizzy feeling wash over him again, they’re back in bed together. 

“Did that happen or did I fall asleep?” he blurts. 

“It happened,” Goro responds, sitting up. 

He still has his phone clutched in his hand, and he looks down at it with careful inspection. Yusuke pulls himself up to wrap his arms around Goro, pressing close because it’s still freezing in the shack. Wherever they were was a mild temperature, a little warm for Yusuke’s liking although it was a welcome change after the coldness here. 

Goro feels warmer now, so Yusuke tries to lay his body all the way over him and soak it up.

“Can we go to sleep?” Yusuke asks, pressing his nose into Goro’s shoulder. 

“I want to figure out what happened to us. Given some time, a little effort, some digging...surely there’s something.” 

“Do we have to  _ now _ , though?”

“Yes. You know how much I hate not knowing things.”

Yusuke reaches around and presses the power button on Goro’s phone. Goro can’t exactly stop him from taking it and setting it on the ground next to them. He doesn’t even try to.

“Yusuke, we could use this. We could...we’ll have to see if he remembers anything. But if he doesn’t, do you have any idea what power we’ve stumbled on?”

“You had a chance, didn’t you? Listen, I know the foster homes aren’t good either, but you had a better chance there than here right?” Yusuke intertwines their fingers and slowly pulls Goro back down. 

Goro goes. 

“I suppose.” 

“You threw your chance away. Why?”

“You know why.”

“Say it.”

Goro flips around so they’re facing one another, and he sighs. 

“For you,” he whispers. “A day together is better than a thousand alone. Here or there, whatever the circumstances...you are worth it.”

“So for tonight don’t isolate yourself in your own head. Just be here with me, and sleep. There is nothing better done tonight than the morning.”

“Alright...it can wait, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said Saturdays but it was done today and god knows what I'll be doing tomorrow. SO here this is! If you enjoy this feel free to read my several other WIPs to pass the time while you wait for them all to update 
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Gillian01430581)


	3. Graphite

Goro knows the information he wants is attainable. If something exists, people know about it. That’s a simple fact of life, that humans pursue knowledge. 

As much as he appreciates Yusuke and the darker things that live in himself that they scare away together...he knows better. Goro is smart, he is sharp, and he’s always known that. It’s the only use he has for Madarame, he’s a pawn in the grand scheme of things. 

He’s a tool to be used to sweeten Madarame’s image, to stand next to him and look good, talk eloquently and nicely, to be the perfect golden child with charm and intelligence alike. 

Further, he’s something to keep Yusuke in check. He signed up for this, he let himself be controlled just to stay by Yusuke’s side, and he still isn’t sure if he should regret that or not. 

(He knows he doesn’t, he knows that despite every self preservation instinct Yusuke will always be first in his mind, but that’s so scary to admit he doesn’t know if he can-) 

So he does some digging. He starts surface level, a few quick, vague searches to see if it’s something widespread. Maybe it’s just one of those things that nobody talks about, something Madarame tried to keep from them. At this point in his life, Goro can’t keep any knowledge for granted. 

Things about monsters with no faces turns up only a yokai that doesn’t look anything like what he and Yusuke experienced in that other place. 

Looking up anything about the red eye app that’s appeared on his phone only comes up with things that are unrelated, with nothing Goro can find that even resembles what he has.

Anything trying to find out about the voice in his head, the contract he formed, and Robin Hood...nothing. Nothing except him probably being crazy. He wouldn’t put it past himself, but he would put it past Yusuke, who shared the same experience. 

So Goro has to dig harder, so what? 

It wouldn’t be the first time that he goes beyond his own reasoning, pressing his boundaries in order to assure Yusuke at night that everything will be fine. As it stands, his line between fact and fiction is blurry and he isn’t sure exactly what brought them into that place anyway. He isn’t sure if they could be pulled back in at some point, he can’t assume they’re safe until he  _ knows. _

Goro isn’t sure if he can stop until he can say for certain that they’ll be safe.  __

Goro goes as deep as he dares. He presses into Madarame’s private affairs. Poking his nose into emails and mail and trying desperately to just...find anything. 

He sits in Madarame’s room while he’s gone with his breath held, wearing gloves to avoid the fingerprints as he types away at Madarame’s computer, looking. He pores over materials about things he doesn’t want to know, reads every nasty thing he has to say about him and Yusuke, the ways in which he uses them and brags about it. 

Goro has known Madarame was a vile man since before he even met him, and all he can do with the proof is feel grimly satisfied that he was right. 

He only finds what he’s looking for in bits and pieces. He only gets words that jump out to him, less so full sentences, whole explanations. Everything is shaky, and with each new thing he unearths he starts to feel less and less happy with how things are turning up. 

_ Wakaba Isshiki.  _

_ Metaverse.  _

_ Cognition.  _

_ Persona.  _

_ Research.  _

_ Shido Masayoshi.  _

He doesn’t get much more than that, nothing more than hints at a bigger picture that he can’t hope to see all of yet. All he knows is that his father, the man who ruined his life, is somehow involved. He wants to know about this whole mess for some reason, and he has a woman who’s researching it for him. There’s no indication as to how far he’s gotten, or what he’s planning on doing with it once he has what he wants, but Goro doesn’t care. In the end, what does it even matter? Goro doesn’t need to know everything immediately, he didn’t think he would. 

He doesn’t care. 

“Goro, where are you going?”    
Goro adjusts his jacket and his gloves, mostly for anonymity rather than it being cold. Although nowadays he always feels cold. 

The lack of fingerprints will always be useful, and hiding his form should serve him well. He thinks if they want to know who he is, they probably already do. At least on his way there he can avoid detection, whatever good that can do him. 

“Out, I need to do something,” he answers vaguely. 

It’s not as if his specific research online had garnered attention, not as if Shido was the one to message him asking to meet, sure he’d already figured it out. It’s not as if Goro is planning to offer Shido whatever he wants just to get close, just to learn, just to figure out how to self destruct in such a way that he can take the bastard down with him. 

“Where?” Yusuke asks again. 

“Just out. I’ll be back soon.” 

“No. You tell me, or I’m not letting you go.” 

The threat is not empty, and Goro knows as much. Yusuke is stronger than him, and Goro may be fairly fast but he’s not fast enough to outrun Yusuke all the way to the station. He needs to catch his train, he doesn’t have time to sit here and argue with Yusuke on the morals of going to meet with the father he’s long since denounced and offer himself as a tool for the second time in his life. 

Yusuke isn’t easy to read, and it’s only getting harder as the years pass. 

Goro isn’t sure what he’ll think of Goro’s half formed plan. 

“Let’s just both go,” he urges. 

Yusuke glances back into the empty house, as if Madarame would be waiting to jump out of the shadows to yell at them. To tear them apart, to kick them out, to do anything worse than that because Madarame sure gets creative with his punishments. 

Goro watches the fear in his expression melt to something more cautious, then calm completely to nothing. 

“Alright,” he agrees. 

It’s always been as easy as that. Yusuke has always bent much easier than Goro, and now that’s something Goro is grateful for, how far Yusuke can bend before he breaks. 

Goro has filled up over the years, he’s become spiteful and angry and molded himself to fit his revenge plot. He’s determined, he’s going to get rid of Madarame and Shido and then they can both live their lives however they want. 

Yusuke has emptied out. 

He isn’t sure how their convictions will show themselves during this…”meeting”. 

They get on the train together, sitting in a corner, and Yusuke stares out the window while Goro watches the people around them to make sure no one makes a move towards them. 

Yusuke doesn’t ask him any questions until they’re standing outside an office without a single sign indicating what it’s for. 

“Am I allowed to know what’s going on?” Yusuke asks passively. 

He seems relatively calm, holding Goro’s hand as they both put off actually stepping inside. There’s something about the whole thing that just feels so...off. Goro isn’t sure if they’ll physically or mentally step out of this place alive. He isn’t sure what this will change for them, and he finds himself almost scared to go through with it. 

He doesn’t think Yusuke will let them go further without some sort of explanation. 

“We’re meeting my father,” Goro murmurs. 

Yusuke lets go of his hand, and starts walking inside. Goro scrambles to follow him, trying to pull Yusuke back  _ behind him  _ because he has no idea what they’re really walking into. He doesn’t know what he got them into, and he doesn’t know if they should just forget it and bail. 

Goro is suddenly terrified to see this man, to meet him and talk to him and try to convince him of his worth. He knows that in a place like this, kids like them? 

If they’re killed, it won’t matter. It would be easy, and probably not much of a hassle to sweep under the rug. They are so disposable and vulnerable, and he made a mistake bringing Yusuke but now he just wants to get them through and to the other side. 

Goro is not sure that they have an immediate use, that they won’t simply be thrown out immediately. 

“Breathe. We can do this,” Yusuke assures him. 

Goro breathes, in and out. It should be simple, but it isn’t. He can’t just calm down, because everything is crumbling when he was so sure he could do this. 

Goro can handle putting himself in danger, he doesn’t care what happens to him and he never has. He doesn’t have anything to live for, there is nothing he particularly wants or needs. He lives to keep Yusuke alive, and that’s fine by him. That’s how things have been for so long, and they’ve been together for so long, that it’s something that doesn’t need words to be explained. 

If one day, his borrowed time runs out on him...that’s just what happens. That’s just how it is, and he doesn’t mind either way. 

But Yusuke getting caught in that crossfire when he was never supposed to be involved in this in the first place is the last thing Goro wants, that’s the worst possible thing that could happen here. 

Still, Goro breathes. No matter what...whatever happens here it’ll change the way things are. Whatever he has to do, he refuses to let them stay Madarame’s tools when they have this power. 

He’s going to get Yusuke out of this alive, whatever that takes. 

They walk inside, Yusuke a half step ahead. 

The secretary is already on the phone when they walk in, she’s only going through her goodbyes as they stand in front of her. 

“You may go see him now. It’s the door at the end of the hall,” she drawls, without looking up at them. 

Goro takes the lead this time, shoulders in front of Yusuke and keeps him from pushing past before he can get to the door and open it. 

“Kitagawa Yusuke, that’s a surprise. Akechi, I was sure you wouldn’t bring him.” 

Shido’s voice sends something awful up Goro’s spine. 

The use of Yusuke’s full name, clearly making sure they’re both aware he knows exactly who the two of them are. The way he hadn’t looked up at them, is still writing down something in a calendar as they stand there in front of him. 

His voice is cold, calm, and Goro has this sinking feeling that he severely overestimated exactly how much control he has. 

“We both entered the Metaverse,” Goro says, clearly and loudly. 

Metaverse, that’s the word that kept coming up. The other world, the cognitons of people, the  _ Metaverse,  _ that’s what that place is called. Goro hopes his bluff at some knowledge will get them through this, because he’s no longer indifferent to the outcome of his meeting with Shido. 

He can see Yusuke out of the corner of his eye, but he doesn’t dare turn his head to actually look. He feels like Shido is watching for a weakness like that, even if his eyes are elsewhere. 

“I see. What happened while you were in this place?”

Shido doesn’t say either way if he believes them, his tone could be interpreted either way, and more than anything it seems like he’s just brushing off the claims of children. He’s a wonderful liar, and Goro wonders a little deliriously if that’s where he got it from. 

Goro swallows and aches to reach out for Yusuke’s hand. He clenches his own into fists instead. 

“We awoke to our true selves. Personas. We met a version of Madarame in the Metaverse as well, his own true self,” Goro lists out confidently. “We have access to it. And as far as I understand, you’re interested in learning more about the Metaverse. We can help with that.”

Shido’s gaze is sharp when he finally looks up. It’s sharper than anything Goro has ever been subject to in his life, the way it pierces right through him just to get a look inside. 

He feels sick, holding his hands in front of him like he can hide behind them. 

“Help with what?”

“Help Wakaba with her research.” 

That gets Shido to narrow his eyes, watching them more carefully than he has this entire time so far. Like this is the first time he’s bothering to see them. He glances between the two of them, then nods. 

“Fine. You’re allying yourselves with me because you know how much power I’ll hold in the future, correct?”

“Yes, sir,” Goro answers. 

He knows Shido is a politician, still rising. Growing, rapidly. It’s true that he could become a man with a lot of power, but for now that statement is cocky. 

All Goro can do is stroke his ego and lie through his teeth. 

“And you realize how much the Metaverse can be exploited, is that right?”

“That’s right.” 

Shido looks down at them, clearly studying them, judging. 

Goro tries not to tremble in place as he stands. He tries to stand taller than he is. 

“You will aid Wakaba in her research,” Shido says. 

Goro feels the breath leave his lungs. He tries not to let it come out as the sigh of relief it is, he just presses his palms to his thighs and hopes Shido isn’t watching as closely as he thinks. 

“When?” he asks. 

“I have your contact information. Wait to do as you’re told, you’re dismissed.”

“Thank you, sir,” Goro says, with a slight bow. 

And then he takes Yusuke’s hand, only because Shido isn’t looking at them anymore, and he drags them both out of there as fast as he can. His heart is pounding. 

“Goro,” Yusuke blurts when the door closes behind them. 

Goro just keeps getting them out. Out of the office, down the road. 

“Goro.” 

Across the street, towards the subway. 

“ _ Goro _ .”

Which line do they take back again? 

“Goro!”    
Yusuke stops him, holding on tight as he stands in place so Goro is forced to turn for him. 

“We have to go,” Goro reminds him. 

“You didn’t explain anything to me, come on. I thought we were in this together.” 

“What is there to explain? We’re getting close to him so I can gather more information. Isn’t that what we’re always doing?” Goro snaps. 

Yusuke shakes his head. 

“That’s all you had to say in the first place. Can we just...be careful?”

Goro doesn’t want to break. He can never bend, he can’t shift as easily as Yusuke can, and he’s always the one who breaks. All he wants to do is be there for Yusuke, keep them both safe, but he’s always the one who needs comforting. 

But with this, this way. Maybe he can be the one to protect them both like this. 

Goro hugs Yusuke there in a corner of the subway, breathing in the scent of paint and underlying  _ Yusuke _ . Yusuke is cold, something undeniably sweet, a hint of home. 

Yusuke is familiar, and just this much can keep Goro together long enough. 

“We’ll be careful,” he promises. 

He makes no such promise for himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter! things are about to pick up, this is still pretty much setting up the main plot but! I hope you enjoyed regardless

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/Gillian01430581)


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